New do

So I have new hair. Yep, stole it off a purple poodle.
It's different but I like it, I think it's the cute I was going for. It'll take some getting used to as it's quite a bit shorter than I'm used to but as long as it still can be pulled up then I'm happy. :)

I am currently writing a paper while watching Dexter, drinking rum and eating popcorn. Ahhh, it's a good life. :) The paper on the other hand...

No cow for me thanks

A quick recap of my last few days

1) Headaches suck big time, especially the ones that make you sick to your stomach and practically blind. Maybe it's time to give my neurosurgeon a call back.
2) I am allergic to stuff. Namely cows, feathers, "mixed tress", grass, dogs, insulation, milk and wheat. In essence this means I really need to learn to like rice and soy and that I can definetly not have a pet cow or dog nor can I furnish my house with feather pillows or dust with feather duster or insulate with the pink scratchy stuff.
3) My criminal code and I have become good friends lately with this whole court thing.
4) Apartment hunting and getting cooperation in that hunt is quite horrible.
5) Physio says I shouldn't have to come back too many more times since at this point, time is the biggest thing. Next week we start running and jumping! Today I did boxing with the Nintendo Wii and kicked little boxer man's ass several times. Needless to say, my physiotherapist won't mess with me
6) I am a super procrastinator but I'm going to really regret it next week.
7) I bought my very first pair of shorts yesterday (in like ever). Yay for weight loss!
8) I bought sandles my ankle can handle, another yay!
9) I am cutting teeth - reliving the toddler years: One of my wisdom teeth is cutting through my gums and my gosh does it ever hurt. I dont' remember it hurting that much as a kid.
10) I am now going to bed. :)

Good Grief. I'm going to bed too early again. Last night I was sound asleep by 10:30. Mind you I am up at 6:30/7 each morning but still. Bed this early makes life boring. But its a good habit to get into I guess.
Chronicles of Narnia was very good though. I found it a little long feeling but good nonetheless... but haven't I see that whole trees come to the rescue thing somewhere else?
Till I wake again then...

I have the whole house to myself for a couple hours tonight, first time since I got back and I'm terribly excited: finally some peace and quiet with no one but Mr. Jack and I around. Though I'll probably just do homework, there will be wine and music involved. And then I'll probably just get to bed as I plan on continuing my early rising through the weekend in an attempt to get my body into some sort of schedule (I'll let you know how that works). And now, I'm off!

Warning: Floor may be slippery when wet

So I may have jumped the gun a bit.
Not completely though, just a few things that I've been noticing for the past little while since the ankle break. It seems really silly to say it out loud but to someone who has struggled with anxiety stuff before I think they'd understand and agree. I have become very anxious, some of it just the usual stuff that I'm becoming more of aware of and that its not completely normal and then new stuff surrounding things like falling. Ok, yeah it does sound stupid. I'm just very nervous about being outside at all, I avoid it when I can and I was out in the rain and I panicked all day that I might fall on something slippery. And I know that it's something I need to deal with now because you aren't going to be able to get me out of my apartment once winter comes.
To someone who's never had anxiety issues before this would probably be nothing more than some nerves but for me it's full blown panic.
Living at home has also opened my eyes to a few other things that aren't completely normal and have made me realize that if I ever want to be able to have a family and children and to lead a comfortable life I'm probably going to need help from meds. A friend of my mother's has been great, we've talked alot lately about this kind of stuff and she's really made me realize that I don't have to be like this and that it's okay to be doing something about it.
So there... it'll be okay, but I might need some help that I'd rather not have to ask for.

My entire day in 3 words

Excel Mail Merge

*No Seriously, I spent my entire day trying to remmeber how to do it and then doing it. Yes, I was left alone in the office today.

Big mistake

It's been a really long time since any school work has had me as upset as this economics has me right now. I have a midterm tomorrow and I have no idea how to do half the stuff and I know it's not difficult but I just get get my head around it.
Taking this class was a very bad idea. Gah. Okay... I'm going to go clean up my room and then get some sleep and hopefully it'll all make sense in the morning.

I have my own desk at work. :)
And I got to spend the morning in court. Which was terribly boring at times, but interesting nonetheless.
And now to the mountains of schoolwork.

I am very frustrated right now. My roomates for next year are being very difficult. And I'm getting close to the end of my rope.
Gah!

Weekend full of fun!

So we had a busy weekend: Friday, lsgb came down for a visit and some family came over for a little post-birthday celebration for me, which consisted of burnt marshamallows and too much kid chaos. Saturday involved some window shopping and then Mom and I watched Ocean's Eleven. Sunday we visited our camp with some family again. It was a good time: I love dirt roads and places to live in the middle of nowhere. The flies were terrible though, I don't think we'll be going down again till those go away. We finished off the day with Ocean's Twelve: where is terrible compared to the first. I like the way they filmed it, with the banter but it feels like pointless and just feels long. I think we'll watched the third tonight probably.
Today I need to study for an economics midterm on Wednesday, which I am dreading cause how I hate economics.
I start work tomorrow; I'm excited but hesitant cause I don't know if I'm ready for all this busy that's going to hit me.
I've dropped down to phsyio only once a week, not cause I am better enough to only go once a week but because I can't find more than one time a week where I'm free to go and they are open.
My am considering not writing my lsat's this summer... as I"ve discovered via a couple practice tests that I suck at them. And I don't see the point of wasting my time writing them when I'm going to do terribly. It looks like law school is probably not gonna happen, so a real person job next year? That's scary.
Anyways... I'm going to go make blueberry muffins, I will have fun to share later in the week I hope.

You make me laugh

"Wolf Blitzer was as giddy as a school girl: I think he's got a man crush." (in reference to Pope Benedict)

"Alright, now go out, vote and support your local fascist dictator!"

"What's your name?"
"You don't know my name, but you're hugging me?"
"Well you looked really nice."
(Ah, he's adorable, too bad he's about 15 years too young for me.)

"Well that's a whole other pickle of worms."

Dr. House, can I have a few of those pills?

So House and Bones were great tonight. They both needed another hour though cause they both ended way to quickly and the endings were lovely cliff-hangers.
I did a walking video at home here today, in place of the gym since that didn't go to well. It was a very very bad idea. I am in so much pain right now I'm typing through tear filled eyes.
So just wanted to report on the good tv shows and now I am going to take a couple of my morphine and try to get some sleep.

This calls for someone smarter than me

So my little brother is trying to play the whole webkinz thing on the computer. Mom's computer won't work at but mine will. However, the pagew wont's cross. It's a type of page that opens into Adobe Flash player but there's no way to scroll up and down the page (and it's supposed to). Help?

Gym 1 Me 0

So I tried to go to the gym today. It didn't go so well: I panicked. I am way to self-conscious and it's a curse: I didn't get the free dessert at the restaurant yesterday cause I refused to have them sing to me etc.
Call me a wimp, but when that panic attack hits ya, the last thing you're concerned about is seeming to be a wimp.
Oh well, I'll give it another try tomorrow. After I find me some valium.

Happy Birthday Me!

I am officially old. It's amazing how time flies. It feels like just yesterday I was in middle school. But here I am, half way to the answer to life, the universe and everything and I feel like I'm going nowhere. Hopefully that sentiment will change in the next few years though. Though the prospect of being finished school and out in the big wide world all alone terrifies me.
So as I move into my 22nd year of this good ol' life... I'd like to be able to wear high heels again, and walk without pain. And to know I'm healthy and gonna live a long time; I'd like to wake up in the morning and not be tired. I'd like to read a novel in a day like I used to be able to. I'd like to know that the people who I care about very much are still going to be in my life in a year, and I'd be open to the prospect of a new person or two to care about. I'd really like it if no one I knew died for a year. Just one year. I'd like to better me, cause well I need some bettering, whether anyone other than me is willing to admit it.
I'm not asking for much am I?

cat dilemnas

I think the biggest dilemna facing a cat owner, other than how to keep the litter from smelling, is a cat and their cuddling habits. My cat cuddles when he wants to, and usually it's just when I am about to get up: he curls up in my lap. And you can't move 'em. Cause as soon as you do, hoping to come back to the position a few minutes later, they are out of their mood and they trollop off to some inanimate object which will never love them like you do.

cyclones and bad media

I'm not a huge news person. I don't know popular actors and actresses; I don't always know movies or songs; I don't do politics, mostly cause I just don't understand it. But I try and have a good idea of what's going on in current events, if only so I don't look like an idiot. To keep this habit up, I added a tab to my Internet Explorer that opened up a news site. After a few tries to find an appropriate for me newsite, I found one. And I do actually know what's going on. Alot of the time I'll see a headline and alot of the time I don't care so I don't read it but sometimes I do see something of interest.
For example, last Sunday I read about a cyclone in the small country of Burma. I'm sensitive to stuff like that, so it caught my eye and pulled at my hearstrings (though I'd rather not use that phrase). I watched it for a day or two, noticing that everytime I checked, the death toll continued to rise. But everyone around me seemed completely oblivious. This ticked me off. I'd been watching the news every night and there was nothing mentioned. The radio never said anything about it, and the paper didn't have a word dedicated to it.
It wasn't until almost Friday when they began to estimate an eventual death toll of 100,000 that our local newspaper ran a story and the local news covered the event.
Maybe something like this shouldn't tick me off like it did, but it did. Why are so we caught up in the presidential race of another country, but we can't pay attention to thousands of people dying in another one? Is politics that exciting that we forego any attention to "real events" We get all hyped up when one soldier dies In a war, where death is only expected but give no attention to the deaths of thousands of innocent people. Does the fact that they live across the world, in a poor authoritarian regime make them any less important? Personally, I really don't think so.
That was my rant: Support 'em.

P: Q = 30 - 2P

This economics assignment has forced me to resort to my sister's help. Talk about humbling. I hate math. Though in a way, it's kinda refreshing...

Busy Bee

I have a job. I sure do. And it's even career-related. I'll be doing it part time while I take classes and then full-time for the month of July. I am very very excited. It doesn't pay much and I don't make alot in total but the experience etc will be worth it.
But all of a sudden I am really really busy - so much for taking it easy this summer.
Oh and I'm sick. And apparently not fun to share a bed with when sick as I like to throw myself around alot, or so my mother claims. I think I'm safe in saying she'll be really glad not to be sharing a bed with me anymore.
Economics has math in it. I hated math in high school. Yuck. And it has a ton of assignments.

She shoots... she scores!

The little brother and I have been playing hockey the past few days, and I quote I'm "actually pretty good". Apparently I scored a goal just like Hossa did in today's earlier game. Yay me!
My shoulder is a bit mad at me for it all though, it' been awhile since I've made that particular movement for an hour or so three days in a row. But it's fun so I'll stick it out till it's used to it again.

Note to self:

I have an appointment April 30, 2009 for an MRI and with the neurosurgeon.

(I can't think of any other way to remember an appointment so far away... so in other words:remind me. :)

Today we bury my grandmother. Five months later. And I think I speak for most all of us when I say I don't like it.
In good news however, the swelling in my ankle continues to go down, It actually looks like an ankle again. I have physio three times again next week and then we'll hopefully be down to two a week for awhile. I have a nice little regiment of things to do with it here at home and they give me quite the workout whenever I'm there. I'm going to start going to the gym next week too, so all should be good.
I need to go get the place ready for company, despite the mess and the paint smell. Later.

water water everywhere

So I seem to be slipping into a bad "habit" I once had and I actually find it somewhat alarming. Usually it's not something someone would probably write on their blog about doing but I think its gonna be my way of keeping myself accountable. If I tell someone that I see myself slipping then I know that at least it's not a secret and hopefully it then won't get out of hand. I realize that to anyone who does not know me too well all that of seems just like gibber jabber and it may actually be but it's helpful to me and its my blog so deal.
In other news, it's a good thing I moved home when I did as the city I was in is under alot of water right now and well, I can't swim. :)