Thursday, May 22, 2008

Warning: Floor may be slippery when wet

So I may have jumped the gun a bit.
Not completely though, just a few things that I've been noticing for the past little while since the ankle break. It seems really silly to say it out loud but to someone who has struggled with anxiety stuff before I think they'd understand and agree. I have become very anxious, some of it just the usual stuff that I'm becoming more of aware of and that its not completely normal and then new stuff surrounding things like falling. Ok, yeah it does sound stupid. I'm just very nervous about being outside at all, I avoid it when I can and I was out in the rain and I panicked all day that I might fall on something slippery. And I know that it's something I need to deal with now because you aren't going to be able to get me out of my apartment once winter comes.
To someone who's never had anxiety issues before this would probably be nothing more than some nerves but for me it's full blown panic.
Living at home has also opened my eyes to a few other things that aren't completely normal and have made me realize that if I ever want to be able to have a family and children and to lead a comfortable life I'm probably going to need help from meds. A friend of my mother's has been great, we've talked alot lately about this kind of stuff and she's really made me realize that I don't have to be like this and that it's okay to be doing something about it.
So there... it'll be okay, but I might need some help that I'd rather not have to ask for.

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