the wonderful life (some days at least)

Ever just have one of those "life is good" kind of days? I'm having one today!
My apartment is being cleaned, and vacuumed with pet deoderizer. The sun is shining in, the snow is melting, the windows are freshly windexed (though the outsides need to be tackled), the floors are sort of mopped (I hate mopping), there are fruit and veggies in the fridge and chocolate milk in my glass. There is good music playing and the prospect of a good movie later on.
I have decided however... that I need to dust and vacuum way more often. I also don't want to move. I like this place, I've made it me and even if its out of the way and my parking lot is always a sheet of ice I don't want to leave.
My ankle looked really good this morning! It's started to swell up again though, and I can see the bruises now but still, at least at some point in the day it looks good.
Yesterday was fun. I bought a really cute outfit and did my hair differently. Poor islander had to comment on all my newness and such as well as lsgb's last night. It was amusing. To save himself he just told us we both looked beautiful. Good call.
Anyways, as lovely as the world is today... I have a seminar to finish before habitat bowling tonight sooo I must go. Tootles!

sleeping, showering, shopping, friends = lovely Saturday!

I watched the Stargate Atlantis Season Finale last night. I HATE season finales. I don't want to wait till October to see what happens! :(
I slept last night. For a full nine hours straight through, didn't budge. I haven't done that in years. And I woke up feeling refreshed: it was wonderful. And I didn't lose half the day either, I was up by nine.
So this morning I did some school work, stressed myself out about living arrangements for next year and this summer's employment situation. This afternoon, lsgb and I are going shopping as I haven't really done that in awhile. And tonight we're going out! The ankle is hopefully capable of it and I'm looking forward to seeing people.
Sooo off I go, must shower. (I can shower again!)

Good thoughts in the dead of winter

Sometimes I wonder if I've really changed all that much since high school, if I'm still the same pathetic teenager I was then but you know, I have changed. Alot.
When I look back at the past four years or so, I can see where I've changed and grown. Most of it in relation to emotional and mental health. I still have my bad days, if anything I have more of them then I did then. But I've come to deal with them completely differently, rarely do I seriously consider the things I would have done then. I can honestly say its been a year since I've followed through with any self-injury thoughts or behaviors. I'd say this is a good thing!
I'm not really sure why this has changed, I think I've just found new ways of dealing, I've have a different friend base now, ones who I can talk to and not worry about what I say getting them down too. I know they'll be understanding, they'll be concerned for me of course but concern for me will not mean concern for them.
I've picked up new habits, I wouldn't call them bad but I wouldnt't call them good either. I'm much more likely to say I need a night out that involves a few drinks and the possibility of new friends. And I won't deny that after a long horrible day I don't sit down to watch a favorite tv show with a glass of wine.
I have alot more going for me now I think, alot more to live for. I've got school and if I work hard enough at it I know there's a future in more education for me. I've got some amazing friends, who I wouldn't want to be doing any of this without. Habitat gives me a feeling of accomplishment, I feel like I'm giving something worth while within society instead of just taking.
I'm happy, but I'm also content. I like the ways things are, there are a few things that would make it better but I am also aware that even with those things there are still going to be bad times, rough patches and just bad days and that's just part of life and I think I'm growing more and more okay with that.

Guess What?

I'm planning a vacation!
Lsgb and I had thrown around the idea of taking a trip this summer to Toronto, we hadn't talked too seriously bout it but we decided we're going to do it. After the way this year has started and the turns I know its going to take I think by the end of this all I'm going to deserve it. I know its gonna cost a bit but I've been putting some money away and I will use my income tax money for it. I am gonna do it.
We've even decided when we're going to go and have even chosen flights, we'll book 'em in a month or two.
So Toronto, and I may leave her there (she's got lots of friends and family she'll want to see) and go out to Alberta to see Dave! and MC provided they want to see me. It's exciting! I've never taken a vacation before, or gone on much of touristy type trip. I've warned lsgb though that when I plan a vacation.. well I plan. Can we say itinerary? lol.
Anyways, gonna get back to it. And then I do need to do some budgeting. Tootles!

A case of the Awww's

My little brother just came up to me and said "Gimme a hug, I love you."
He made me cry a little bit. He's adorable. He's been so good to me the last little while, he will not let me go anywhere without holding my chance in case I fall on the ice (and there's alot of it). He opens doors for me, meets me at the car door and walks me anywhere I'm going, helps me get my boot on and off the sore foot. Just adorable.
And now he wants me to watch Hogan's Heroes with him!

I heart you gingerbread latte :)

I know this is silly but the thing that has me super excited this week is the fact that my favorite coffee place has my favorite latte back. Yep. Its horrible. But its so good.
Two christmases ago before I actually lived in this city, after a long weekend of christmas wreathes and amazing bow-tying, Dave! and I got gingerbread lattes on the way back to our respective hometowns. It was wonderful.
So when I finally moved up here I couldn't wait for christmas to come around again so I could get one. Well last year they decided not to have it. And I was hearbroken. But last night, when I ran in to get change for my laundry, I noticed that they have it back this year; I am sooo excited!
Tonight, my gingerbread latte, you and I shall be together!!!

Made me laugh quotations of the day

"I don't like coconut. It makes my tongue itchy."
"Oh those Christians, they always come back to bite you in the ass."
"I'm on such a high right now. And it's legal and everything!"

Night!

And the most important thing I learnt the past couple days...
My friends care for me. Most of them at least.
They don't want to see me hurting, and they don't want to see me getting myself into a situation where I'll end up hurt.
One friend teared up during our little heart to heart and it meant alot.
It's makes me happy... and sad that I can't want better for myself and realize my own apparent "potential" and good qualities etc.
See... I'm crying just thinking about it.. bloody hell.

On a sidenote... during the laptop accident my papers etc got ruined... would it completely pathetic of me to copy my entire book of h4h notes into another notebook?

A Looooooong Walk

So I went for a walk this afternoon. It was my "day off" and after I got home I just felt like I needed to do something semi-relaxing.
A few people had told me about a particular trail in the near vicinity so I thought I'd try that one. The only way I knew to get to it was a ways away in itself. But I got to it and it was beautiful, there were points where I could just stand there and not hear one noise of the city, there were no cars, houses, or other people in sight and it was wonderful. However, as I kept walking I just kept getting farther and farther into the middle of nowhere. By the time I realized this trail was ridiculously long I was too far into it to turn around. It wasn't like I was lost, I knew where I was (right there) and I knew where I was heading, though I wasn't sure how far away from home I'd come out. Well, as darkness started to come on.. which is not nice when you are in the middle of the woods alone, I finally got to civilization again... unfortunately a very very very long ways from home. At least I knew here I was and I knew how to get home from there.
So three hours later I got home. And oh my gosh I'm tired. For good reason, if the signs where right I walked almost ten kilometres.
It was so nice though, it was brisk and not too hot or too cold. The leaves were beautiful and they were falling. I love leaves. There was one point where I was walking through the leaves that had fallen and I was kicking them (the temptation to pick them up and throw them in the air was very strong too). I was having fun, and apparently it showed cause the guy who passed me laughed at me, in a good way, at my childish delight of the leaves.
I saw lots of cats! And only one dog. Being walked by someone who looked terribly familiar... but I don't know anyone around here with a dog... so apparently my imagination is getting the best of me made evident by the fact that they definetly didn't know me...
So yes, it was very very nice. And I'll do it again, this time shorter. There's a trail that's more of hiking trail than a road and its actually into the woods and I want to walk it... but I need to find a buddy to do it with.
Time to get some reading done! And if the fresh air doesn't help me sleep tonight... so help me lol.

Fridgey good feelings

I tore a page out of a magazine awhile back and its been on my fridge ever since. Time to share so I can throw it out.

Hey, It's OK...

...if the closest you'll ever get to skinny-dipping is running through a sprinkler without your shoes on.
...to take a great deal of pride in your iPod playlists.
...to be a little bummed that you're related to the hot guy you just met at your family reunion.
...to skim the front-page headlines but read every word of pieces like "Zoo Gives Panda Viagra."
...to spend 30 minutes in the museum and an hour in the gift shop.
...if you still don't have a crush on Justim Timberlake.
...to take the last cold beer in the cooler at the barbeque.
...if you're the only girl at the beach whose cover-up actually covers up.
...to ask him to pick you up at work mainly because you want to show him off.

It made me smile when I needed it this last little while, hope it does the same for you.